The Neptunian Relationship: "Who you settling for, who better for you than the boy?"

How attractive is it, to have a world where no wrong can be done, and to share this world with someone you love more than life itself? You are the apple of someone's eye and they, in turn, are yours. You share cherished memories, untold secrets, and hidden exchanges of love on top of a hidden roof top at 3 am in the morning over a bottle of wine. This is it. You've found the love of your life, and you are willing to sacrifice independence, money, boundaries, and stability for this love to last. At first, the two of  you find pleasure in watching one another make sacrifices for the sake of the relationship. These exchanges prove just how committed the each of you are to one another. You are now ready to move in with each other, or get married, or do whatever your pretty hearts desire next. 

But something feels off. Maybe one of you is carrying an extreme amount of debt and poor credit while unemployed. Maybe one of you has a history of depression or mood instability without seeking treatment. Regardless, you both feel that your love is strong enough to conquer all obstacles. Ignoring the red flags, you proceed to move in, or get married, or get that matching tattoo. Whatever you two decide to do next is often irreversible and soul binding. 

Now that you've managed to finagle your way to the next step (whether or not there is a stable foundation supporting the relationship to begin with) there is an extreme moment of bliss. Everything in the world becomes perfect. Maybe you're smiling a little more. Maybe you're loving a little more. Maybe your boss isn't getting on your nerves as much as they used to. Or maybe you're feeling brand new and ready to revive a failed relationship with a friend or family member. You are on a high, on a roll, and no one can take you down from this mountain. No one except the one that you love and cherish so much. That's right, your knight in shining armor is holding the Kryptonite. And you are so high on this mountain that you mistake it for Jewels.  

With a Neptunian relationship, there is no one to burst your bubble and ground you with unpleasant reality (Saturn). There are no rules, and anything goes. This infinite world full of possibilities soon becomes an addiction. And when the drug vanishes, so does your sense of self. These relationships are not all bad. In fact, they're quite the opposite. They are often too good to be true. The person of interest is seen as your ideal lover, and all sense of logic and self protection are thrown out the door in hopes of building and maintaining this fairy tale relationship. There will often be a fated feeling or twin flame like connection between you and bae. There might be a runner/chaser dynamic going on where the Neptune person runs when they feel like their true self is in jeopardy of being discovered, and the planet person chases the Neptune person with promises of unconditional love. 

If you or your partner have heavy Neptune themes (Stellium in 12th house or Pisces, Neptune conjunctions, squares, and oppositions) when the two of you come together, there will be a stream of fog pulling you far away from reality. Often times, there will be a person who plays the role of the Neptune person as their Neptune will make significant aspects to your personal planets . Other times, you or even the both of you will play the role of Neptune (especially if you both naturally have heavy Neptune signatures). It is a bit easier when both people play the role of Neptune because then no one will truly have an upper hand over the other. However, when one person is playing the role of Neptune, the planet person is destined to experience one of the most profound heartbreaks of their life. The Neptune person will, unintentionally, morph into the person you want them to be and hide the very parts of themselves that may turn you off. The issue with this is that those hidden parts are very much alive and well and often find different means of expressing themselves, though rather indirectly. 

Let's say that the 3 am roof top date was the kick start of your relationship with the Neptune person. And now, a year into the relationship, the two of you are re-enacting the date, except this time, you ditch the wine for two bottles of whiskey. Charmed by the romantic gesture, you fail to see your partner's increased  alcohol consumption. Or maybe you have steadily increased your alcohol consumption in order to better bond with them. And now, you've gone from a light weight who can stretch one glass of wine throughout an entire night, to a binge drinker. Doing drugs and alcohol together is a common theme found within many Neptunian pairs. Neptune, the drunken planet, has a way of seducing its captives into a state of delirium. However, Neptunian relationships don't only involve substance abuse. With Neptunian relationships, boundaries begin to vanish over time. Say you are a typically rigid person who tends to have the highest of standards and the shortest fuse. All of a sudden, you meet your knight in shining armor and you are letting the very things you used to advocate for slide right before your eyes. You hate slobs and messy people but find it cute when your Neptune bae takes you to their studio apartment with clothes all over the floor because the mess is good for their "artwork". Or maybe you're an introvert who prefers to spend much of your time alone and suddenly your Neptune bae is influencing you to go clubbing with them every weekend. You notice your leniency towards this person, but you find it attractive. You feel as if they are pulling you out of your comfort zone and showing you a whole new world. And perhaps they are. But this person is also not showing you their full potential quite yet. They are gradually exposing you to uncomfortable circumstance until you become malleable. They are slowly pulling you out of your own beliefs and values and getting you to adapt to their's. You do not realize this process is happening until it's too late. Maybe you drop by Neptune bae's little artsy studio for the weekend and notice that you can barely walk around the place with so much mess and there is no food in the fridge. Maybe one night, you decide you could use a break from all the socializing and stay in from the club, while Neptune bae eagerly rushes out the house without you. You reach a point where you notice that your values are not in sync, and this person has no interest in truly adapting to you. Only in throwing enough fog over the differences that you fail to notice them for a prolonged period of time. 

The Neptune person tends to have the upperhand in these kinds of partnerships because they can see the planet person a bit more clearly. The Neptune person is able to identify the wants and needs of the planet person and provide them while hiding what they do not wish to share. The planet person is often susceptible to being deceived or mislead, not due to the malice of the Neptune person, but because the fog is just far too thick to see clearly enough. I would like to clarify that the Neptune person is not at fault. Given the chance, almost anyone would take advantage of the opportunity to hide the ugliest parts of themselves in hopes of maintaining a perfect love. However, the planet person is no victim either. Often times, this deceit is possible to detect. There are moments in which the fog clears and clues are revealed to the planet person. But more often than not, the planet person chooses to deny what they witness and run back to their fairy tale. This is where the addiction comes in. The two parties are addicted to this false reality they have created with one another, and are willing to sweep anything and everything under the rug to maintain that high. 

Most relationships consist of arguments and disagreements as well as compromise and sacrifice over time. However, Neptune relationships work in a backwards manner. these natives tend to maintain a period of bliss for weeks, months, and even years. It is when the mask slips off and the fog clears that the arguments and bickering begins. However, this stage of the relationship is often so delayed that there is often too much shit pent up to properly work through. This can become so overwhelming that the couple will either: 1.)escape back into the fantasy and continue sweeping things under the rug or 2.) Get into a heated argument that is often so intense that the relationship will likely end abruptly. 

If you are playing the role of the Neptune person, you will notice that the planet person idealizes you. They see you as "all good" and give you confidence with their one sided view of you. You might intuitively understand that they are not seeing the whole picture clearly, but perhaps you feel that if they learned the truth, they would not feel the same way about you. Maybe you also have a tendency to deny the parts of yourself you do not like, and maybe you expect your partner to play along with you. Either way, you understand your power over this person, and you are often so enamored with the person in return that you do everything to protect the relationship. However, there will come a time where you will feel lonely. There will come a time where you will be tired of keeping up appearances and just want to be yourself already. However, you will most likely handle your frustrations indirectly. Yes, indirectly as in through means of escape. You will try and escape the reality of the condition of the relationship while trying on hang on to the person. Whether you engage in an affair with someone who can accept the hidden part of yourself, or resort to using substances to cope with these repressed feelings. You will do everything in your power to not ruin things. But more often than not, the pressure will break you, because you are only human in the end. You may run away from the relationship because you are tired of having to baby the planet person. You may suddenly choose to clear the fog yourself and end the relationship. More often than not, the fate of the relationship will be up to you. But due to the  passivity of Neptune, it is also likely that you will also try to make this person fall out of love with you by showing them the colors that they might not want to see. Neptune is good at getting others to leave because doing the leaving is often too painful of a decision to make. 

Now, if both people are playing neptune and planet roles, this dynamic can get a lot more interesting. A lot of projection will occur and there will be many psychic moments between the two of you. Maybe whenever you think about the person, they suddenly call (and vice versa). You both will intuitively understand the emotions of one another and look after each other as a result. This relationship is a bit more blissful than the one-sided Neptune relationship because there is a possibility of achieving enlightenment alongside one another and the values of one another are often aligned. The fog usually lasts throughout the course of the relationship as you both will happily slip things under the rug pursuing to embrace love rather than to acknowledge flaw. The issue with this relationship is that you guys will be the death of one another. Think of John Legend and Yoko Ono, a very famous relationship. John would have Yoko travel with him and even sit in on studio sessions to the point where it would annoy the other band members. The two would often get lost in drugs and music festivals and even created peaceful protests and revolutions together. The relationship wasn't always healthy, but they chose to see the best in one another and stayed together until John's passing. This is the epitome of a balanced Neptune within a relationship. 

If a Neptunian relationship has to come to an end, which it often does, there is a feeling of soul loss that can occur between one or both parties. The drug has been taken away from the abuser and there will be a itch to get high again. Whether through re-entering the relationship sometime down the road, or finding someone who can help you re-enact this dance. Either way, it will take a while to sober up after such a relationship occurs and the person may linger in your heart for a very long time, if not forever. You will always have a weakness for your Neptune bae, even if you both decide to remain separated for the rest of your lives. In a sense, to you, this person will be the one who got away.